Randomness.

So I am officially a college graduate! I graduated on December 17, with degrees in Finance and HRM. I am so happy to be done with school, but am planning on getting an MBA relatively soon (within the next year or so.) I keep going back and forth deciding if I want to get one or not. I don't think for the career path I'm planning on within the next 5-10 years I will need one, but it's more so just for personal satisfaction and accomplishment. It would be awesome to find a job that pays for it since I calculated the cost and it is around $30,000, which isn't as bad as some programs around the U.S., but costly nonetheless.

The ceremony was really long, hot, and boring. We had to get there at around 9:00 a.m. and then it lasted until 11:30. The heat was cranked and wearing a nylon gown does nothing for airing yourself out. I sat next to all my good friends from classes throughout the years, so the entire time we were laughing and talking quietly, and I had brought my camera to record some video footage, so that is a nice memory to have. I already miss them a lot. It's amazing how soon you miss people when you are used to seeing them everyday! After the ceremony I really wanted to take pictures with all my friends but it was so crazy and crowded I was unable to. That was really disappointing because we never really got to say an official goodbye, and who knows if I will see them again. I actually have been making an effort to text them and talk to them since graduation and they are doing the same, so that is really nice and encouraging. I said goodbye to my three best girlfriends the night before graduation, and cried my eyes out. It was so sad. I will miss them so much! Not seeing them everyday isn't fun. After the ceremony there was a reception, so my family and I got something to drink and took some pictures. Then I gave them a tour of the part of school I spent the most time in, took more pictures, and then we left. It was weird knowing I won't be coming back for awhile. Then we drove for a very long time, arrived home, and I opened graduation presents. My family chipped in to buy me nearly 50 roses! They were so gorgeous, I was in shock. I wish I would have taken more pictures of them because they are dead now. I also got money from my Grandma, Aunts, & parents. My parents are so silly..they had written out a card and put a funny picture in it and had put in $30 (odd amount right?) which I later found out was leftover Christmas gift money. Thanks Mom & Dad lol. Then we went out for dinner and it was delicious. All in all a good, memorable day :)

A few days later my other Aunt and cousins gave me a graduation present, which is super unique. A little background on this present..for all you fellow horse lovers out there, there is a 14-year old quarter horse named Buggs in my area that paints. His owner picks out brushes and colors, and he holds them in his mouth and paints abstract art. He's been in the paper, on CNN, Fox News, The Tonight Show, and The Today Show! About two years ago I bought one of his paintings (one that seems to be featured on all of the news segments, which is kinda funny because I will always see pictures of it and it's hanging in my bedroom). All the proceeds go directly to charity, so it's a good cause and a unique item to have. So anyways, she gave me a purse he had painted (I love purses) and a necklace with a design that he had painted, that was shrunken down and made into a pendant. I was so excited to receive them, and think they are the coolest things ever! He has his own website, and Etsy page as well, so if any of you are horse lovers or know horse lovers and are interested in owning/giving a unique piece of artwork, I would recommend checking him out!

So since graduation I have basically been doing nothing productive. I moved back home, and had worked on a few organization projects to get my room and storage areas back in order. I have a lot of crap to give to Goodwill, but I am going to wait till I'm REALLY bored again to do that. We have been fortunate here to not have had ANY snow yet this winter, and I seriously lucked out as far as driving back and forth from home to school, and moving out. It's been a balmy, enjoyable winter and I love it. Everyday I don't have to bundle up is a good one in my book :) I have been staying up super late since I've been home and sleeping late, so it hasn't been very conducive to getting things accomplished..I also have been reading/watching Netflix/playing Wii a lot. Come next week though all that is about to change, as I am going to be working toward some financial designations and the study materials for those will come in the mail this weekend. Learning never ends ;)

On the WLS front, I found a liquid vitamin that actually tastes pretty good from Costco, and have been trying to get into the habit of taking it every morning. So far I have missed a few days, which worries me because I cannot afford to do that when I have the RNY. That's why I'm starting early I guess, and I will need to put up reminder notes everywhere until it becomes second nature. I also went to the gym yesterday for the first time in who knows how long..that was rough. It was busy as hell because all the people are on winter break from school, and I even went late in the afternoon. I went on the Elliptical for 15 minutes and was dying...shows how out of shape I have become. I then walked around the indoor track for awhile but this douchebag guy kept running really close to me as he passed me when he had the whole freaking track to run on as if to just annoy me...I really considered tripping him but didn't want to get kicked out :) I didn't go this morning because I met my friend for lunch since she is leaving to go back home today, but tomorrow I am going to try to get there mid-morning so hopefully it won't be as insanely busy. I am also making sure to bring my iPod because I forgot it and it sucked without one!

As far as eating goes, I have been eating less food but crappy choices. There's lots of holiday sweets and leftovers so those have been pretty much in my diet the past few days. And my Dad made amazing homemade pizza tonight, which was awesome, but again, not really conducive to losing weight. I am a little nervous to go see my doctor next week...I should just weigh myself now to see what the damage is...maybe tomorrow morning actually since I just ate dinner. My heartburn is still bad and I've been taking generic Target brand stuff because the other stuff was getting expensive. I will be able to ask my doctor when I see her next week thankfully--new year, new insurance :) Hopefully it will get resolved. I have the symptoms of an ulcer/hernia/GERD...thank you Web MD lol.

Other habits I need to start making a priority and developing:

1. Take smaller bites. 2. Slow down. 3. Chew, chew, chew. 4. No drinking during meals. 5. Mindful eating--no eating in front of the computer, tv, on the phone. 5. Vitamins EVERYDAY. 6. More protein, leafy greens, less fatty/sugary foods.

I am also going to begin trying different protein drinks, and pick up a few post-surgery items, like Biotin, Milk of Magnesium, and Calcium supplements. I really also want to just try a 3 day liquid diet to practice it and see how I feel without the pressure of having to do it yet. My goal is to do a few of these in practice before I have surgery.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Happy Holidays fellow Bloggers! I've been a bad blogger lately, but I'm back now! I have a lot of catching up to do..I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/other holiday if you don't celebrate Christmas. I had a very nice time. We had Christmas Eve at my house, and had about 15 family members over so it was a lot of fun. Over the years our Christmas traditions have evolved and changed..since my family is German, Christmas Eve is usually our main celebration as far as opening presents/visiting/ food and then Christmas Day we used to get together and have a early dinner but now my parents and I just go see a movie and spend time just us 3..this year we saw War Horse, which I highly recommend! I cried, and I think my Dad even shed a tear..so good. So on Christmas Eve in the past we've had ham & rolls, wieners, red cabbage, sauerkraut, and other German things I do not find appetizing at all. Luckily this tradition has changed and now we do a buffet-style of all appetizer-type things, since everyone usually eats so much of that beforehand and is too full to eat a normal meal. Since this was my last Christmas I will be able to have as much food as I want, I indulged a little bit :)

So this is all the delicious food we had this year.. Ham & rolls, rouladen, shrimp, raw beef w/ onion on rye bread (so gross, idk how people eat it!), mini spring rolls, spinach wraps, bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, taco dip & chips, smoked salmon, cheese, sausage and crackers, and veggies and dip. Then came the desserts...tons of Christmas cookies, oatmeal bars, coconut bars, peanut butter blossoms, chocolate covered pretzels and strawberries, red velvet cheesecake, cherry cake, pound cake, stollen, almond cookies, lemon pie, and various chocolates. It was complete insanity! I didn't really eat too much for dinner but I had like two sodas which is really bad, but I figured it was Christmas what the heck. But the desserts I def pigged out on, and I am not ashamed :)

After we ate we opened presents. My parents and I exchange presents Christmas morning but exchange with everyone else on Christmas Eve. I got money, chocolates, a purse holder, some body wash, and one of my Aunt's got me French-themed gifts..bottle of champange, chocolates, and some cheese (which I gave to my Dad because I'm not a huge cheese fan!) So then the rest of the evening we just talked and hung out and it was nice and relaxing.

Then Christmas morning I slept till nearly 10:00, and opened presents with my parents. The day before my Dad and I picked out this extravagant bird feeder system for my mom..it was like $200, and I couldn't believe all that for stupid birds! We live in a forest so she always feeds them and loves looking at them (obviously I don't share the same enthusiasm), so she was very happy and excited. I got my Dad a bottle of wine, some special popcorn he likes, and dark chocolate. I also wrote him a check for this special Cognac he really likes since it was backordered, but he gave it back to me and was angry because "I have no money so shouldn't be spending what I do have on him," so that was kind of cool and super nice. For Christmas my big present was my dog that should be born any day now...the little thing is costly so it's a graduation/Christmas combo. My parents still were very generous though and got me 3 Wii games, a DVD, book, Coach Poppy perfume, some other makeup, and a doggie carrying case that straps into your car, so that was very exciting! Then we relaxed, saw War Horse, and then came home to watch the Packers vs. Bears (GO PACK!!) and eat leftovers. All in all it was a great Christmas. I tried not to let my weight get me down because sometimes I look around and notice I am the heaviest one there, which at 23 is pretty depressing being heavier than your Dad and Uncle, but it wasn't too bad this year. I think I know because change is coming and next Christmas I will probably look like a whole different person, that it's not worth getting upset about, and I have hope for the future.

I guess I will write another blogpost about everything else that's been going on, so I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday time and has a Happy New Year!

Gross Incident

So I had one last "hurrah" tonight with some of my close girlfriends because I am moving back to my hometown, and will probably not see them for awhile. I know we will keep in touch and try to get together but I also know how things go and even though we mean to now, life sometimes gets in the way, so it was very sad..I admit I cried for like 5 minutes which is unusual for me because I am the strong friend and I think they have only seen me cry maybe once or twice after a breakup or something but usually I maintain my composure. I think what was going through my mind was #1. I am going to miss them SO much and miss not being able to just be 2 minutes away for a gossip session, movie night, or dinner. #2. The next time they see me I will probably be a completely different person. Maybe not look physically different yet, but my eating habits, stomach, and hopefully mindset, will all be different. #3. I know I shouldn't think like this, but deep down I was thinking what if something happened to one of them or me even, and I was never able to see them again.

So anyways we went out to dinner at a local burger joint and usually at the place we went to I get a chicken sandwich but this time I got a cheeseburger. It was good for the most part but then I got toward the last few bites, took a bite, and the meat was red/almost raw. I gagged and wanted to puke! My friend told the store manager because she was at the end of the table, and he gave me a coupon for a free one, but still I am so grossed out. It made me think that I will not miss eating at this place or this kind of food after I have WLS. Honestly I didn't even enjoy it..it was just food to me. A salad would have been just as good but I just happened to eat a burger because that's where we went. I make a lot of choices like that. There's not one food I can think of that I feel like I will miss or can't live without, I just eat food because it's there and tastes good, but in reality it does nothing as far as making me feel good or fueling my body. When I ate really healthy and lost 35 lbs 2 years ago I felt so much better..I had more energy, felt lighter overall, didn't have gas or BM issues..you think that would be reason alone for me not to make poor eating choices, yet I still do. Right now I just feel blah...my stomach doesn't hurt but I feel bloated and gassy and it was so not worth it..I didn't enjoy that meal at all particularily and I probably ate close to 1,000 calories with a shake and onion rings on top of that disgusting burger. So my goal is to not make food choices like that, and instead eat mindfully and look for foods that will fuel my body.

There's this website called toneitup, not sure if anyone has checked it out, but they have a lot of super healthy recipes that I really want to try.

Are there any foods you thought you would miss a lot after you had WLS? Do you miss them now?

Finally Done With School!

Well as of yesterday, I am officially done with college and I graduate this weekend. I am eventually planning on going back for my Master's but that will not be for a few years..I need a break :)I am very excited and happy to be done because I am looking forward to what my future brings and being able to have the time and energy to focus on my health, getting in shape, and preparing for WLS. Beginning Monday I am going to make it my goal to get some type of exercise EVERYDAY, for at least 30 minutes, doing something active, whether it's a walk through my neighborhood, the Wii Fit, or going to the gym. I will have no reason not to anymore since I am going to have all the free time in the world, and if I don't it will just be pure lazyness getting in the way, which I am going to nip in the bud right from the get-go. I am also going to start logging my food again and relearn all the good habits that I pushed aside...cooking my own food, eating plenty of fruits and veggies, getting enough protein in, etc. I am also going to start trying a few different foods to prepare me for WLS...the biggest thing I am worried about is the protein drinks. I have tried a few brands and did not like them at all, so I really want to find some that I like. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know! I have heard of Unjury and Isopure I believe, but am not sure the differences. I should also explain I am not a huge dairy person and don't really like milk, so any fruity flavor or chocolate flavor I would like but vanilla, not so much. Hmm..what else..also really want some type of exercise machine still, so need to further look into that! Hope everyone's having a good week :)

Scheduled All My Pre-Test Appointments!

Hi Blogland! So yesterday was pretty exciting because the coordinator at the hospital where I'm having my RNY called me to schedule all my pre-test appointments! I am very excited, and can't believe how soon they will be done. On January 12, I have ALL my pre-testing scheduled (except the psych eval.) so they will all be done in one day! It's nearly 5 or 6 hrs of testing back to back, but it is worth it to me to be done with it in one day. The first test I have is the pulmonary functions test. Then lab work, an EKG, a chest x-ray I think (not exactly sure what all the tests are, apparently I am just getting an itinterary at the first place I go to) and then my last thing that day is 1 out of 2 dietary group meetings. The 2nd one occurs after my surgery. Then on the 19th I have my psych eval. I also would like to attend support group meetings offered by the hospital before my surgery to talk to others who have had it and see how their life is going. I am pretty sure I am allowed to attend those but still need to check.

Even though I am doing the 6-month supervised diet, and I am hoping my surgeon will submit for insurance approval at the end of January, despite that only being month 3 of the supervised diet, because of the 2 year medically supervised program I did. I did that in 2009 and 2010 though so that may be considered too long ago, so I suppose I will suggest they submit it but leave it up to the surgeon's discretion. Does anyone know if that would hurt my chances at all if I were to apply and not be approved, and then reapply 3 months later after the 6-month diet is completed? I kind of feel like what can it hurt, because in the meantime while waiting for approval I would still be working toward fulfilling the 6 month requirement and if it takes 2-3 weeks for insurance to make a decision, and they denied me, I would still be working toward my diet and not have lost any time. I am not sure the proces for submitting approval but it seems like they would be able to just make copies of everything they submitted and then add on the supervised diet should they need to apply a second time. Otherwise I will probably have to wait till the end of April to apply, figure in 2-3 weeks of waiting for approval, so surgery wouldn't probably be scheduled for mid-March/early June at best. That would suck, but I hear some people's process is much longer so I should be thankful and hopeful everything goes smoothly, because so far it has been, and I am super impressed with the Bariatric Center!

So my heartburn issue has been taken care of with maximum strength OTC medicine, but I can't eat ANYTHING anymore without getting heartburn during and after I eat, so I know that something is probably wrong. I am waiting to go see the Dr. till after January 1 though because I am sure they will want to do tests..expensive tests..so hopefully the medicine will keep it at bay until then. What's bad is that you're supposed to take it only like twice a week or seek a doctor, and I've been taking it everyday so far. I also have been having completely horrible gas...like constantly throughout the day after I eat that hurts my stomach so badly.I feel bloated all the time and my stomach feels swollen and clothes feel tighter. It is so embarassing too because I will have to leave class multiple times to go relieve myself in the bathroom and it just lasts so long, it's awful. I am not sure if that has to do with whatever is causing the heartburn or what but I am going to mention that to the Dr. as well.

Other than that not much else is new. Graduating next week, finally! I am sad but happy at the same time. Ready to start a new chapter in my life and be healthy. Unfortunately living a college lifestyle isn't healthy so it is good timing that it will be over.

Short Update

Just a quick update that my heartburn is still bad, but today I finally got some Zantac and Pepcid AC, so am going to experiment and see which one works better. I am taking the Zantac tonight about an hour before I eat dinner so I am really hoping it works! Oddly enough I have pretty much stopped snacking in between meals because the heartburn hurts so much after eating any food that I have no desire to eat unless absolutely neccessary...who knew that this could help with my diet lol! I am calling next week Monday to schedule all my pre-op appointments, so hopefully that goes smoothly! Other than that not much else is new...have lots of blogs to catch up on and am doing absolutely nothing tonight but tomorrow have an exciting day shopping in Chicago! Looking forward to it :) Hope everyone has a great weekend!